When to have the dtr talk reddit dating. 64 votes, 21 comments.

When to have the dtr talk reddit dating Like if you meet someone at a party and they introduce their "boyfriend", chances are you're not thinking that's someone they've known a few weeks. In fact I never had one in 10 years of dating before that, through numerous gfs and an LTR. Do not post content that promotes hate based on identity or vulernability. posts about relationships longer than 6 months post go to r/relationship_advice or if you are married post to r/marriage Long time listener, first time caller. The Talk doesn’t have to be a full on hour long conversation. He lives in New York and I live in North Carolina. The DTR (Define the Relationship) talk is the bane of many a dater. Posted by u/Confused_female20 - 1 vote and 2 comments Dec 12, 2023 · DTR stands for “define the relationship,” which refers to when two people who are dating have a conversation around the boundaries and expectations of their commitment to one another. My wife and I got engaged after dating two years. Comprehensive guide based on relationship psychology. In the beginning we saw each other multiple times a week but once grad school started back and he got busy with work we stopped seeing each other as frequently but he would still take me to lunch during the week because our offices are super close. . and can shift priorities. Did you have to have a dtr talk? What did it look like? Did you initiate it or did they? Did it happen before you met for the first time or after (if applicable)? I feel like it's easier in person to feel out vibes and go on "dates" and see how things go before you are officially dating. Hi all. My current partner and I had the “are we exclusive”-talk around the two months mark. It's been going super well so far. Just do what works for you. Most don't. On our first "date" she said how she would feel weird dating someone she met online (we met on Tinder) but wanted to try something casual. Let's face it. I've been wanting to DTR but held out for a couple more weeks, she brought up Tinder last time, said she's only seeing me and not talking to anyone, but still If it ain't broke, don't fix it. Kinda an exclusive talk, but not 100%. We started off really strong and See full list on thinkaloud. this sub is for advice about specific dating situations not general debates. I 35m have been dating a 38f for a little over 3 months. posts about relationships longer than 6 months post go to r/relationship_advice or if you are married post to r/marriage How to have DTR talk with my (28M) fwb (25F) I've been casually dating this girl for about 6 months. In early October, we talked about what seriously dating someone means to us and I asked him if titles go hand in hand with exclusivity. We’ve been on a couple “dates” but have spent time together in other ways such as coming over for dinner, going for walks, having coffee/drinks at each other’s places and hanging out on the couch. i told him i was going to be really Edit: thanks for the advice guys. He really seems like a decent guy from what i know. However I’m not pushing for DTR yet because i think we should have one more trip together before making a big decision like that. Hopefully he agrees. For some it's much later, if ever. That the texting have died down can also be a bad sign I guess. You can ask whenever you want. Some context I (28F) have been seeing “Joe” (30M) for a little over 3 months. He gets the validation and attention from you with no commitment to just “be free and have fun”. Do not post content that promotes hate based on identity or vulnerability. I like him and haven't even had the nerve to tell him that. Thanks in advance! TL;DR: Met a girl in university, formed a close bond, but unsure about the status of our relationship. I just got back from another trip to NYC where him and I finally got to have a date and be intimate in person. i had an ex do it after 2 weeks and that was a mistake, i did not know him at all and our relationship was a disaster. Except. If you want open communication, then just communicate, even if it’s just to get her thoughts on where things are (if not to actually define it). I decided to drop it and have a DTR talk next time we hang out. i’m a full time grad student and also dietetic intern so i’m working for free while taking classes. All advice given must be good, ethical advice. I (49/M/Divorced) have been dating someone (39/F/Divorced) for about a month. A subreddit to discuss and explore the dating process and learn from the experiences of others Members Online • Decent_General_5294. Before we met, we texted for about 2-3 weeks. posts about… 2-3 mos but it can vary. I (25F) met this guy (27M) on a dating app almost 3 months ago, and we've been exclusive for probably a month and a half or so. My experience is similar to u/advwench where after 6 months if dating I tried to have the DTR talk with a guy I was seeing and he did the, "I like hanging out and want to be sexually exclusive (we were barely having sex) but I think the best I can say is that we are "going steady". We text daily and see each other usually once during the week (sometimes spend the night) and at least once during the weekend. But I do know I’d like for him and I to date exclusively and work up to that point. Culturally we often receive implicit or explicit messages that relationships are supposed to be long term and monogamous, but Brigham says that formula doesn't always work for everyone—and defining the relationship is not just about trying to shove Neither of you liked must have liked each other much if you spent 6 months dating without becoming a couple. If you want a relationship, then you need to keep the goods under wrap until you get one. Everything was great. In that time we never had a DTR talk. Women HAVE to have "the talk" Men do not like having "the talk" Even if the man wants a relationship with you, he doesn't want to have "the talk" Because "the talk" is when the relationship stops being fun, and when the woman starts overanalyzing and criticising and getting bent out of shape about things. Since then we have continued to talk more and gone on dates without hooking up and things seem fairly established, but I’m not sure how to DTR. In depth focus occurs here. Few people like to ask or answer questions like these: "Are we exclusive or what?" Basically, my question is: what indicators can I be on the lookout for (timing, cues, etc. And we talk on the phone quite often which is nice. 5M subscribers in the dating_advice community. net 3 days ago · Generally, relationship experts recommend having the DTR talk and other difficult conversations in person if possible. I can definitely see how you'd be feeling weird about this. I get not having the DTR talk for a month or two, but more than 3 seems like both parties just don't know what they want. Rather than just coasting with someone for months and only THEN having a DTR talk, when someone is potentially very emotionally attached already. Reply reply No-Distribution9100 Follow reddit rules. this sub is for advice about specific dating situations not general debates… Open menu Open navigation Go to Reddit Home r/dating_advice A chip A close button BACKGROUND: I (30's M) met someone (30's F) I really hit it off with on an app 4 months ago, after talking and a couple of FaceTime "dates" over a… Follow reddit rules. Its an issue I have whether sex is or isn't in the equation. but I’m so afraid to ask which ultimately is due to my fear or rejection At the end of the day, I want to find someone that chooses to be with me, that is excited to spend time with me and get to know me more, and is As much as it gives me anxiety and I worry we’re not on the same page, I realized the time to have the DTR talk is the time you think you should have it. Like I said he’s getting the best of both worlds. And in 5 years since my last LTR, I have never brought it up first. I slid into his DMs and the interest was very mutual. Or you can avoid being vulnerable. 7 weeks is definitely around the time that you should start labeling things. Keeping your feelings and ideas about your relationship to yourself might seem to be the norm, or may feel like the right thing to do, but a healthy, mature relationship is one that can stand up under the weight of honest communication and a straightforward attitude regarding where this sub is for advice about specific dating situations not general debates. 3 days ago · A DTR is ultimately an act of respect and consideration for yourself and the person to whom you are attached to. Posted by u/Free-Many-6874 - 5 votes and 3 comments Dating - we're going out, having fun, learning about each other, seeing if we have chemistry. We only had these dates recently because up until now we’ve been in different cities for school. A subreddit for folks nearing or over 30 who are looking for dating advice. Having the DTR talk in person can help you avoid the nervousness of waiting for someone else's response and can be healthier overall. He’s made it known to me many times that he isn’t sleeping with anyone else and I’ve also said the same to him. Do not bully or harass other users. Look, it doesn't work like that. 4. I do however like to ask the person pretty much at the start if she is seen someone just so i know where i stand. They handled it very very well and feel pretty comfortable with the situation with their mom. I (24F) reconnected with an old friend and hookup (26M) in August. Lay it all out there. my bf and i had the conversation at like 1. I've been dating someone I met through online dating for about 3 weeks now (we talked online for a few weeks before our first date as well)… It never hurts to have the talk and eliminate possible “what ifs” and saves you time and spares you the crippling anxiety whether they are feeling the same way or not. posts about relationships longer than 6 months post go to r/relationship_advice or if you are married post to r/marriage Both between 25-30. Now I don't know if 2 months is too early, we still have a lot of get to know about eachother. After sex we confirmed we weren't sleeping with others, but it was never a bf/gf talk. Rip the band aid off. When i met nurse she told she was chatting w 2 other guys i was chatting w 1 girl. Thanks! Jun 9, 2021 · Importantly, how someone chooses to define a relationship is dependent on the individual, adds therapist and life coach Tess Brigham, MFT, BCC. Nov 17, 2024 · Posting from throwaway account. If you're lucky, you won't have to wait that long -- sometime between now and then, he'll just start calling you his girlfriend and referring to himself as your boyfriend. I've been supportive of it and kind of talked the guy up to my kids. He was thrilled and kinda mentioned the same thing. 5-10 dates here. 3 months at least. I really like you and where this is going. I became official with my boyfriend after our first official date. I met this girl on a dating app about a month ago, we had a basic DTR type talk about 2. If you have any questions, please send the mods a message. Also I'm not sure how I should bring this up? TL;DR Been dating a guy for almost 5 weeks and not sure if I should have the DTR talk. Date exclusive - a mini talk has been had where we've determined we're only going to date each other and see where it leads. The people I have been dating have brought it up after one date, or after first sex, or after a few weeks. I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Technically we’ve only been together in person twice given the second time was for 5 days. My kids know about the gf and have expressed interest in meeting her and her daughter. it didn't, which is also fine (at this point we had been dating 3 months) though I did know I would have liked it to go that way. this sub is for advice about specific dating situations not general debates… 50 votes, 194 comments. I got a little out of hand on the writing so TL;DR at the bottom. After "I like you," "I like you," "I wuv you," and "I wuv you mooooore!!" a lot of daters get caught up on the awkwardness of the DTR talk, both the substance and the timing. Have a DTR talk if you feel you're unclear about where things are at and that you *want * to have that discussion. Like you mentioned, a quick text shouldn’t be that A subreddit for folks nearing or over 30 who are looking for dating advice. Considering a "Define The Relationship" talk, but worried about potential disruptions if either of us starts dating someone else. Me and my X saw each other for a looong while before we DTR. posts about… Posted by u/FriendshipSwimming68 - 1 vote and 1 comment. posts about relationships longer than 6 months post go to r/relationship_advice or if you are married post to r/marriage Posted by u/throwmeback678 - 4 votes and 6 comments For me, I don't mind waiting 2-4 months to make a firm DTR, especially now that I have some history of DTR way to quickly and staying way too long as a result. posts about relationships longer than 6 months post go to r/relationship_advice or if you are married post to r/marriage 10 votes, 10 comments. Hope this helps. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns. I (M32) have been spending time with an introverted female (28) for the past couple of months and know each other from a mutual hobby. 11 votes, 13 comments. 5 64 votes, 21 comments. For me, 2-4 months in, I like to have that DTR as part of the overall communication and commitment. For some it's earlier. this sub is for advice about specific dating situations not general debates… Everything has been really great, we vibe, we have fun and do interesting things, (get together about 2x a week) have crazy good sex often, he has introduced me to his family, and he has met my teenage son. That doesn't seem to be the case for you, so carry on! I'm not proud of the fact that we slept together before having the DTR conversation. We texted throughout the day the first few days and managed to meet up for dinner and drinks 5 days after starting to get to know each other. Do not call people names or engage in slapfights. Do not post hateful or harmful rhetoric - you will be banned. May mean that you are getting in pretty deep and want to manage expectations, may be that you want to move forward I later found out that she was dating me and another guy at the same time. posts about relationships longer than 6 months post go to r/relationship_advice or if you are married Posted by u/usernameabusername - 2 votes and 3 comments Follow reddit rules. They have been dating for 3 months. But I'm a slow mover. Feb 13, 2023 · These conversations aren't always easy, but relationship experts like Weiss and sex experts like Kate Moyle at sex toy company LELO can help set the groundwork for what a DTR calls for, how to If it's been a couple months or more, then it's absolutely appropriate to have the DTR talk if that's how you're feeling. Dinner went well. You took four months to become exclusive, so March 1, 2023 or thereabouts is your "target date" for a DTR talk. Learn the perfect timing for defining the relationship (DTR), key signs it's time to have 'the talk', and expert tips for relationship success. Thoughts on meeting children before defining the relationship? I’ve been divorced for two and a half years and I have never introduced any man to my two daughters (ages 9 and 11). I only date one person at a time, for me, it's exhausting dating more than one person at once, but that's just me. Unfortunately, you can’t have both. i finally had the balls to have the talk with him friday. I’ve been talking to this guy for a couple months, its been going kind of slow, we don’t hang out super often because we live kinda far from each… 50 votes, 194 comments. I told him a little while ago I haven't been on any dates but him and have completely stopped using the dating app. The "title" itself isn't important, but having the talk of exclusivity is, and respecting the person you're with by addressing them correctly is. Since then we have gone out quite a but and she has never paid for anything. Recently ended a serious but (unfortunately) short-term relationship (38F/37M). posts about relationships longer than 6 months post go to r/relationship_advice or if you are married post to r/marriage A subreddit for folks nearing or over 30 who are looking for dating advice. I like things to develop organically and don't love to shove people in labeled boxes. There are obvious extremes -- asking "what are we" after the first date or after 6 months of dating -- but if you're starting to feel like you want more definition to your relationship, it's probably time to bring it up. Things have been going really well and we hooked up after our 4th/5th date. If he crumbles, shuts down, or runs away, you have your answer. We talked a bit but didn't really get to go on our first date until just… Follow reddit rules. We have spent many whole weekends together and I don't mind paying more than 50% but she has not offered to pay at all since the first date. So just to catch you up on the situation… Unless I have a different definition of dating - which is to be officially exclusive and traditionally have that dtr talk. Things have been going pretty well. I'm 31/F, and I'm ambivalent about having children or ever getting married, so if you and the other person were in a similar situation, 7 months floating along would be fine. I didn't press, but got a weird feeling but didn't want to rock the boat. I'm really wanting to have "the talk" but I'm not sure if it's too soon. I guess I'm just afraid to ask and be let down, because I've had painful dating experiences in the past and I don't want to lose him. Aside from a few communication issues which I’ve addressed with him and he’s corrected them. I know I’m not ready quite yet to be in a relationship with him. I think the DTR is a critical first step before even getting close to having the conversation about meeting my kids. posts about relationships longer than 6 months post go to r/relationship_advice or if you are married post to r/marriage It's flat out disrespectful to want all of the benefits and perks of a relationship, have someone in your life, but not be willing to acknowledge the role they play. Okay but I feel like thats irrelevant to my question lol. I guess the other guy beat me to the DTR talk. Like. We live 4 hours from each other so I didn't expect anything to come from it, but… Welcome to r/dating. Some guys skip the "DTR talk" and just do it. I want to have the DTR talk with him saying “hey so I’ve been thinking. 5 weeks in and basically agreed that we enjoy eachother and see things going somewhere, but weren't putting the relationship label on it and aren't seeking a Huh. He’s honestly absolutely amazing; respectful, incredibly sweet and… this sub is for advice about specific dating situations not general debates. You're thinking they have an established, comfortable relationship, know each other well, have met each other's friends, talk every day Posted by u/Antwuan89 - 1 vote and 2 comments On 7th date with a girl (26) from Tinder, "not seeing anyone, still have the app because the bios are funny, I don't talk to anyone other than you" We've known each other for 2 months. You can have the DTR talk when you see him next but honestly from experience in dating for many many years I don’t think he’s going to change his mind. Sometimes spend the entire weekend together. I knew it wasnt going to go anywhere I'd say as soon as one of you feels it's necessary. Posted by u/[Deleted Account] - 2 votes and no comments i posted on here a few days ago regarding me dating a guy for nine months and not putting a label to it or anything. My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over a year, and over dinner I tried to casually bring up “Does our relationship have legs, are you… Dear Reddit, (tl;dr below) I am back in the online dating game after a long hiatus, and I decided to do it different this time: I was honest in my profile without trying to be coy and directly stated what I want, what I have to offer, and that I am looking for my person, and that I am not looking for casual dating/sex. i didn’t start it the way i wanted to. Hello! [TLDR at bottom] So I’ve been seeing this guy for a month and a half now. I also haven't asked him if I'm the only one he's sleeping with. Even if you're dating with fairly standard monogamous goals ultimately, there are heaps of little things which matter, and are good to discuss early on. I know. Not that I want to define things. This can last from 3-10 dates. Good luck, let us know how it goes if you do decide to bring it up. I (19F) have been seeing this guy (22M) for 2 months. He is a very considerate man and shy at times, so I don’t think he is bold enough to initiate anything right now. On the 1st date she offered to split the bill. Work was busy for me to meet up so we had to stick to texting. Use your words. I (25M) met a girl (23F) online about 2 months ago. And although we’re exclusive we’re not official or have the label. "What kind of relationship are you looking for right now?" is something I usually discuss within the first few dates before anyone has any big feelings yet. We had been friends for about 1 month but only talked in class or studied together at the library, but nothing that was at all like a date. Nov 14, 2024 · In dating and relationships, there seem to be a lot of options: Are you just friends, hanging out, in a situationship (more than friends, but not committed), boyfriend/girlfriend, dating (but also a dating others), exclusive (dating only each other)? It can be confusing to know where you stand if nothing is said—especially as time goes on. I (26f) have been dating/hanging out with a guy (29m) for 3 months now. My past relationships have all started super fast, and since this one isn't, this is completely new territory I appreciate any insights, experiences, or advice you may have to offer. Because the issue I have isn't based on sex. Get the Reddit app Scan this QR code to download the app now Sex/Dating DTR talk meaning “define the relationship” talk. ADMIN MOD DTR Talk this sub is for advice about specific dating situations not general debates. Don't have a DTR talk just to check it off a list or just because it seems to be a trend. I would have to be dating someone for a long time before I would dtr. We met on Match and hit it off instantly. I don't consider this part of the DTR talk. This is a place to discuss dating and relationships over 40. Otherwise, you’re walking around on eggshells and filled with anxiety. it’s a lot while also getting a MS. It's not a place to push gendered agendas; it's not a place to talk about all the reasons not to date; it's not a place to talk about everything wrong with dating people over 40; and it's not a place to talk about everything that's wrong with your target gender. For some people, defining the relationship might involve mutually deciding to date exclusively, but for others, it could mean agreeing to an open relationship. We have been texting every day for almost 2 months and have facetimed at least once a week. 4M subscribers in the dating_advice community. (DTR talk occurs at this point. Jan 31, 2018 · Laurie Davis Edwards, who founded the coaching service The Worthy One, suggests one way to bring up the topic is to frame it as a personal assertion rather than a question for your partner. When I was with someone where one of us (at the time) wanted a committed relationship, someone brought it up within the first 3 months. So this guy and I (M20, F20) have been talking for 3 months now and have had 2 dates. Just be prepared to not get the answer you want. 6 weeks with great chemistry is a lot, let alone 6 months. true. Well, mate, if I'd have this answer, I'd ask if she is seeing someone else. " I burst into tears. Please make sure you read our rules here and remember to: Be polite and respect each other. If I am dating her exclusively and putting effort into it, I don't want her to talk or go out with anyone else. Because this is my problem. I told myself, who cares, that'll come. Disabling OLD When There Hasn't Been A DTR Talk Yet true This is a place to discuss dating and relationships over 40. That's when I consider the ramifications, and up to now with one exception have said "no thanks" to exclusivity Some go away at that point. 3 months is the max personally. Turned out we just naturally assumed we were exclusive after we started seeing each other regularly, but it was still nice to have the talk. If she picked another guy to date seriously, it's because she liked him, NOT because you didn't initiate the DTR talk in time. Posted by u/Piee314 - 1 vote and 21 comments A subreddit for folks nearing or over 30 who are looking for dating advice. The problem is in a week we’ll be in different cities again for the winter term, and I’m not sure if we should DTR / talk about what happens now? This is a place to discuss dating and relationships over 40. It can be also 5mi, or even a text asking whether she wants to be your gf or wanting to be exclusive. Especially this early. Posted by u/meloche2011 - 1 vote and 4 comments As a woman, don't have the DTR relationship talk at all. Posted by u/merry-jerry - 3 votes and 8 comments It's just the connotation of the word "boyfriend/girlfriend". Posted by u/dtr1234567 - 1 vote and 3 comments I (F 22) have been going dating someone (M 25) for about 3 weeks now and before our first date we had talked for a few weeks. ) that it's appropriate to have the DTR talk? I (25F) went out with a guy (28M) I met online last weekend. Follow reddit rules. There is no law that says you need to have the DTR talk now or ever. it’s more than enough time to know if you want to date someone exclusively (provided you’re seeing each other weekly and there aren’t like long distance issues or schedule mismatches happening). You can have the conversation . nvcaxs xvnr ome boodp etrr bkty hdht kkka uint dpjflr wrwah gyot tjqdo wkuobs fscr